— The Concept
Love, desire and freedom
An honest reflection on swinging, as a practice of social sex among aware, free and responsible adults.
Love & desire
It was not always so
In contemporary society, particularly in Western culture, love and sex tend to be treated as inseparable concepts. But it was not always so. And there is no shortage of people who hypocritically defend that “obligation”, while being very far from practising it themselves.
For many, loving someone, and being in a stable relationship, does not preclude feeling desire for other people — and admitting it. It is worth remembering that, at the origin, human beings were polygamous. The monogamy that prevails today derives, to a large extent, from a social model strongly shaped by Judaeo-Christian morality, rarely questioned, which over time has become the norm.
Although it is hard to trace the true origin of swinging, it is beyond doubt that group sex has always existed. Today’s swingers are not, in essence, polygamists: they do not necessarily fall in love with other people. They simply separate, quite naturally, what for centuries we were forced to (con)fuse.
Social sex
Variants, fantasies, freedom
Swinging is, essentially, the practice of social sex, generally between couples, though with variants that depend on each one’s fantasies and tastes.
Some begin by including a third party, a man or a woman who joins the couple to form a trio that, strictly speaking, is more of a ménage à trois than swinging proper. Some stay at foreplay and shared caresses, without going as far as penetration with another partner. Others go further. Others change chapter from one night to the next.
Whatever definitions one wishes to apply, all these variants are legitimate, as long as they respect the individual freedom of everyone involved. That, in the end, is the only rule.
The six pillars
How XClube practises it
Six dimensions by which this club measures itself, every single night
Discretion
Privacy is the first luxury. Here, no one sees what is not meant to be seen, and what happens within these walls never crosses the door.
Curation
Each member is carefully welcomed. XClube is a closed circle, where the human quality of those inside defines the atmosphere for those who come in.
Sensuality
A sophisticated celebration of desire. Without hurry, without judgement, in which the game of seduction unfolds at each one’s own pace.
Excellence
Impeccable spaces, a dedicated team, memorable parties. A standard kept edition after edition, for more than two decades.
Freedom
Freedom to be, to explore, to share. Always with mutual respect as the cornerstone, and the "no" as a right that here is not up for debate.
Surprise
Every night is unique. Sets, themes, atmospheres and moments thought through to the detail, so that nothing, at XClube, is ever allowed to be banal.
“Swinging is, essentially, the practice of social sex, between couples, with as many variants as the fantasies of those who live it”
XClube
Mutual trust
No betrayal, no infidelity
Concepts that carry great weight in today’s society fit poorly, or simply do not apply, to swinging couples. What many do in secret, and which society calls betrayal, becomes here permitted, encouraged and agreed upon by the couple themselves.
In the same way, infidelity ceases to make sense between the two members of a swinging couple: mutual consent to sexual involvement with other people prevents the often pernicious loss of trust between them.
Where there is absolute transparency, there is no betrayal possible
Maturity
A considered decision
But one should not think that swinging is without risk. There is risk, above all when the decision to practise it is not sufficiently considered, or when the couple is not fully and perfectly aligned on their goals.
Seeing one’s own partner with someone else can be hard to live with, when the right premises are not in place. And one must take in a truth that bears repeating: swinging is no cure for fragile marriages, on the contrary: it tends to complicate – and, at times, to destroy – relationships that one tries to save by this route.
Swinging calls for maturity. Everything else flows from it
In short
There are many reasons that may lead a couple to take up swinging, and the most commonly cited, inevitably, is the wish to push back against the monotony that tends to settle into a life lived only as a two. But this is not the rule. Some begin as boyfriend and girlfriend; others have been swingers from the very first day of a long marriage.
What is beyond doubt is that swinging is, essentially, social sex: a social activity based on sexual activity, duly consented, practised among aware and responsible adults. With no impositions of gender or orientation, even if most cases occur between heterosexual couples.
The rest is for each one to live in their own way
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